Top 10 Stupidest USB Gadgets

USB has come a long way. You're no longer stuck with connecting only boring old printers and web cameras to your computer. Slowly, non-computing peripherals started to get added to the list of USB-Compliant devices. First came somewhat useful mug-warmers and night lights. Then came less useful Christmas trees and missile launchers. Today the market is filled with hundreds of bizarre devices of questionable utility. Below is our top 10 list of the stupidest (but still potentially quite fun) USB-compliant devices:

10. Mii Stor Ice Flash Drive

This little gem has 456 5ct diamonds set in a platinum case. There's no storage capacity listed, but I'm sure anyone willing to spend the cash to get one doesn't really what it stores. Here's hoping you don't leave this thumb drive on top of the photocopier just like the other 2 you lost.

Available At: miistor.com $30,000

9. USB Stress Button

When you get really stressed just whack this molded plastic button and all your stress will melt away as your watch your computer screen countdown and show an animated explosion. I sure know nothing de-stresses me like rebooting my computer after this poorly designed software freezes it up.
Available At: usb.brando.com.hk $17.00

8. USB Mini Humidifier

This one is interesting since it doesn't really look like it's big enough to actually make any difference whatsoever. That's probably a good thing since the last time I checked Computers + Moisture = Badness.

Available At: USBgeek.com $35.00

7. USB Thumb Ionizer
Many are convinced the full tower sized ionic air cleansers don't really do anything and can even cause more harm than good (see wikipedia). Even if you are a believer, it's hard to imagine this tiny thumb drive makes any impact on air quality at all. It does come with a fancy built-in blue LED though.
Available At: kleargear.com $14.99



6. Rechargeable USB Shaver
As many men have learned, sometimes shaving with a cheap electric razor is no better than scraping one's hair out with a dull butter knife. This shaver could be the exception and really high quality, but something really creeps me out thinking of bits of me being connected via USB to a computer.
Available At: usb.brando.com.hk $22.00

5. USB Humping Dog
Its sole function is to use up a USB port and hump it to oblivion. 'Nuff said.
Available At: thinkgeek.com $9.99






4. Warmmi USB Heating Knee Pads
Just strap these puppies around your legs, string the cords through your pants, find 2 empty USB ports and you're all set for toasty knees. I can't really say I know many people afflicted with cold knees, but somebody out there was itching for 5 volts of warmth. Don't forget to unhook yourself from the computer upon getting up, we don't want any accidents now.
Available At: vavolo.com $19.99/pair




3. USB Pole Dancer

Nothing adds class to a computer desk than adding this bikini-clad plastic doll spinning around a pole to "I'm Too Sexy". The whirring of the motor only adds to the ambiance. It's a complete steal at $40. Plug this one in at the office. I dare you.
Available At: stupid.com $39.99




2. Tidy "Tippist" Doily Tablecloth Keyboard
This USB keyboard has some ridiculously cool features. It's flat, can be rolled up, and is even machine washable. But why oh why did it have to be shaped like a freaking doily?!! "Hmm, we're going to make a keyboard on the cutting edge of technology, so naturally it's important it appeal as much as possible to the elderly." Clear marketing genius.
Available At: toniawelter.de (Only Available In Store - Germany)



1. USB Powered Air Conditioned Shirt
By drawing in air through 2 fans, these shirts extreme computer programming sessions. You might not actually be cool wh claim to keep you cool even under the mostile plugged in, but you sure would look cool all puffed up in these stylish shirts. Unfortunately when you walk away from the computer all your left with is a shirt with 2 holes in the side and a bunch of dangling cords.
Available: Hopefully Never